“How many times have people used a pen or paintbrush because they couldn’t pull the trigger?”
|—||Virginia Woolf, from Selected Essays|
What I am about to write next, is nothing inspirational or special. What I am about to write next is simply what I’ve been thinking about all day, everyday for quite some time now.
I feel nothing – not an ounce of happiness or an ounce of sadness. I’m just overcome by this feeling of emptiness, the pure deep hollowness that takes over a person when they have nothing to lose and nothing to live for – I am struggling to regain my faith in humanity and the world.
It’s tragic really, how the world and how we, supposedly the most civilized and advanced beings to roam this earth, function in this day and time. We go about our daily routines and pretend we’re intelligent and aware when really, we’re either a bunch of ignorant morons or depraved assholes who’s sole purpose is to get rich.
How intelligent are we, as a species, if we’re defined and controlled by a mere piece of paper? We have become grotesquely enslaved that we barely notice it. And why? Is it because we have become too self-centered and self-absorbed with our own problems to get to the root of things? Think about it really, it’s like we’re programmed to believe in something and we have become nothing but machines with an expiration date.
There are kids dying of hunger and thirst and others dying of obesity and yet we refuse to share. There are animals going extinct and our seas are toxic and dying yet we refuse to change the way we function. There are men, women, and children getting raped or assaulted and yet we refuse to educate. There are people buying million dollar mansions and others who are dying out in the freezing cold. There are kids who are killing themselves because they’re treated like pariahs and yet we refuse to accept them the way they are. There are people who are ashamed of having mental disorders and yet we deny them the very kindness, love and support they need.
We bully. We lie. We kill. We burn. We destroy. We abuse. We judge and we betray. We hate and we discriminate. – That’s what we, human beings, excel at.
We value nothing but materialistic things and go out of our way to satisfy our worldly desires. We care more about money than about feeding the hungry and sheltering the poor. We care more about breast sizes and numbers on a scale than the actual soul of a human being.
We are nothing. We spread like cancer and we over-populated the planet – we filled it with so much hate, ignorance and intolerance.
We don’t understand the meaning of life – what it means to live and to love. We don’t understand what it means to selflessly care and be kind. We don’t even have the ability to understand one another.
So here I am, using a pen instead of a gun, a paintbrush instead of a bomb, and my words instead of fists because I refuse to be silenced – I refuse to join this world of fools.